"Second Babies Fly Out" and 4 other Myths that create false expectations

“Second Babies Just Fly Out!”

I really have to laugh at this one. Because even doctors will tell you this, but WOW, did I have a contrasting experience. A 28 hour induction with just about everything from the Dr's bag of tricks to get the kid out. Yes, I know some inductions go longer than 28 hours but for a second baby, this was not within my expectations! I should know better by now than to fall into the trap, knowing I've had my fair share of outlier experiences. The second baby did not fly out. The induction was not "easy" because the first baby responded well to induction. Of all the things I am reasonable about with pregnancy and postpartum, this one really got me. It took until about hour 20 for me to get over it and realize this could be a long haul. I really had trouble coming to terms with the fact that this baby was not, in fact, going to fly out.

 "Breastfeeding will just melt that weight right off!"

There's some truth to the science behind this and that's that breastfeeding does, in fact, burn about 500 calories per day. But if you just let that calorie burn go on without sustenance, your production will drop and also, you'll be really f'ing hungry and probably really mean about it, too. Sure, if you're burning an extra 500 calories a day that'll speed things along, but only if you ate less, something that's ill advised and also near impossible to do. Additionally, a lot of women, myself included, hang onto an additional little bit of weight while our bodies are still producing milk. That little bit can vary, but it often doesn't come off until you stop.

Bottom line: your baby, and your health are of utmost importance. Don't "use" breastfeeding as a method of weight loss. Let your body do what it needs to do for the baby while you nourish it and get back to meaningful movement as you can.

"If you stay fit throughout pregnancy you will bounce right back - your return will be a breeze!"

Going through labor is trauma to the body. Having a C section is a surgery. In no other circumstance, would we tell someone that they should aim to bounce back quickly after a trauma to the body or a major abdominal surgery, while getting less sleep to top it all off. Bounceback culture is garbage, first of all, and second, everyone's body responds differently to the healing process. So while yes, it can help the healing process to enter being in shape - as it helps most things in our life to enter being in shape - it doesn't guarantee a quick return. You may not run faster, lift heavier or blow up your previous FTP. But with focused, smart, progressive returns to training, you ABSOLUTELY can.

"You can prevent diastasis recti"

You can't. Period. The only way to prevent diastasis recti is not to get pregnant.

"You can still do any workouts in pregnancy, just lower your effort level!"
As a general rule, sure, this could be applied for you to try to keep doing what you enjoy. But eventually, certain movements don't feel good, or maybe you lose access to them for a few weeks and then the movement feels good again later in pregnancy. But this blanket statement just doesn't work, and it sets us up to feel like a failure if we cant just alter our effort levels and keep plugging along. It's important to consider the effects different types of movements have on our bodies as they change and grow and our bellies get larger. We can’t just lower the weight, decrease the reps, lower our mileage, or simply slow down. Sometimes the movement doesn't work. And this is where social media can be a devil - showing us other women STILL doing what we had to stop doing weeks, months after we had to change plans. Comparison is the thief of joy - keep doing what works for you!

All of these things have potential to make you feel like something is wrong, or you body isn't compliant, or you did something to "mess it up." Every body is different, every baby is different and even with the most consistent of trends, there are always outliers. So before you subscribe to an idea about pregnancy or postpartum, make sure you accept the possibility that your experience might be different!